The Blasian Experience

Racism

2007-06-28T11:12:00.000+10:00

I know, I know, this topic has been done to death elsewhere. But a blog needs to tackle the hard stuff (eventually)...

This article by The Age (28 June 2007) is very inspiring. It talks about "ARAB, a grassroots performing arts project working with young people from Melbourne's northern suburbs. Its goal is to tap into a hunger for artistic self-expression that it says exists among youth in the region who would otherwise have limited options. And in the three years since it started, hip-hop music, dance and comedy have worked to erode cultural barriers in a way that other outlets don't."

Sixteen-year-old dancer Leah Buchannan is also a member of ARAB. She says her "Anglo" name and the fact that she is the daughter of Scottish and Filipino parents made her a constant target of school bullies. "As a person that is half-caste, I got a lot of racism and bullying. I was called a lot of names."

It makes me think that maybe my Mum is right, that our future kids will still be discriminated against for being "half-caste" despite everything. I wonder if we can ever live in a non-judgmental world. Perhaps it all starts with stereotypes.

One of the movies that I love is called Crash, which Oprah Winfrey couldn't stop talking about. In this episode of Oprah, we are encouraged to confront ourselves. By perpetuating these stereotypes, or myths, are we being racist? The argument is that these generalisations arise because most Jews are rich, most Indians are cunning and most Asians can't drive. They argue that it's not racism because it's (somewhat) true, and these preconceptions can 'help' us in dealing with others of different ethnicities.

I disagree.

Throw away your misconceptions! MOST does not mean ALL, and it's easy for you to judge others, but turn the tables around and see how you deal with being judged.

I still get looks of surprise when I meet someone for the first time and they realise that I can speak English with no accent (actually, there is an accent, an Aussie accent). For some reason this makes them think I'm more intelligent than I was before I opened my mouth. One of my colleagues was getting frustrated when she ordered fish and chips takeaway because "the guy couldn't speak English". She treats him like an idiot, when he probably did a Masters degree in China and has double her IQ. It happens so many times throughout our daily lives that we just accept it and/or ignore it. Our Lord Mayor John So, who actually speaks very articulate English (if you listen to what he says), is told he has "20 consonants short in his alphabet" for having a strong Chinese accent. There are more examples, such as this article by Sam de Brito in his blog All Men are Liars. I mean, in this day and age, you'd think we live in an accepting society.

Apparently, an accepting society starts with what we implicitly accept as individuals. How many times do we get caught up in a mob mentality where we feel discomfort about voicing our opinions because others do not share the same view? How many times do we laugh and dismiss those calls of "bloody wogs" or whatever? (like in this article) Maybe it's time we take notice and break the habit. Seriously. We know that we shouldn't accept any of it, but we do.

The article mentioned at the start of this post, whilst positive and heart-warming, demonstrates just how senseless racism can be. As more and more interracial couples in the world produce mixed children, their struggle to find identity in a world ruled by prejudice can be particularly detrimental to their self-esteem (as if kids need more reasons to have low self-esteem). I hope that my children won't have to go through that, but I know they will.

Mother's Love

2007-06-26T17:39:00.001+10:00

So as I mentioned, J won't be having his kidney operation this year because his Mum is too selfish to give him one of his kidneys.

Sorry, I meant because she's too fat and can't lose the weight.

I mean, she's obese and it would increase the risk of complications during surgery.

I know I'm being a bit harsh, maybe she wants to enjoy her new lease on life with her new boyfriend, maybe she's never been happy her whole life till now.

If it was me, I would just not eat. Anything to save my son. I guess not everyone thinks that way.

I already asked, even though I wanted to give J one of my kidneys apparently I can't: I have a different blood type, my kidney is too small and I'm too young - it might affect my ability to have kids.

So all we can do is wait...

Wedding stress!

2007-06-26T17:32:00.000+10:00

Ok, again apologies for not updating my blog...
I finally graduated (YAY!) I applied for and got the job I want (YAY!- I start next year) And I've been planning for the wedding.
So far:
Church booked - check
Reception booked - check
Limo hire - check
Band - check
Flowers - check
Wedding dress - check (bought a different one, not going to Indo anymore since J won't have operation this year but that's another topic)
Tiara - check
Invitations - check
Guests... aargh!!! My sweet mother-in-law who is the nicest person has decided to invite more people to this wedding than either of us. My own Mum is only inviting 9 people, she's inviting 30! The stress of family politics is starting to get to me...

Photos!

2007-01-19T16:38:00.000+11:00

Happy New Year 2007!!!

2007-01-19T15:09:00.000+11:00

I apologise for being so slack... I haven't updated this blog for a while now.

Crash update... I had exams and got great results (YAY), went to Indonesia to get my wedding dress made and visit my sick grandma (she had a heart attack and is now bed-ridden) and now working full-time, finishing off my last summer subject and organising the wedding.

I was annoyed with my sister because she asked my Mum if she's ready to have 'ugly' black grandchildren. I can't believe my own sister said that - and she's going to be a bridesmaid!

I got closer with my brother since I emailed him with an outpouring of grief because I felt I couldn't live up to my Mum's standards and in fact I don't want to live her life.

If I had a dollar for each time my Mum asks me if I was sure about marrying Jason I'd be a millionaire by now. I guess she just wants me to be sure. Though she's quick to participate in wedding preparations, so I know she still loves him. She says that I'm too young (22), but she was 19 when she got married.

Jason is scheduled for a kidney transplant soon, so I'm also stressed about his health. And of course everyone is putting their 2 cents in, Mum's best friend said why would I want to marry a sick person. I know she has my interests at heart, but I could marry a healthy person today and he could die tomorrow from an accident, who's to know? I thought marriage is about love, I didn't realise how many cynical people there are.

Gee, this turned out to be pretty depressing... I meant for it to be more jovial.

Please help save Zara!

2006-08-24T08:39:00.000+10:00

I know I haven't been posting much lately, been stressed & busy with uni, wedding preparation & work. I thought it was important though to get the word out about little Zara's story.

Zara and her twin brother have just turned one, but Zara may only have 3 months to live due to a heart condition. She needs a new heart. Soon. Her chances of getting a heart here in Oz is very slim, so they have decided to move to New York. Please help her by going to www.savingzara.org

You don't have to make a donation, the McRaes need other stuff too, like recommendations and accommodation in New York, introduction to Paediatricians and Cardiologists, and volunteers. Check out http://www.savingzara.org/howyoucanhelp/mcraefamilyswishlist.html for their wishlist.

New forums! (from a new friend)

2006-05-29T11:26:00.000+10:00

Zen gave me links to new forums!! I'll check it out and add them soon :)

We bought a house!!!

2006-05-05T10:38:00.000+10:00

Jason and I are now proud homeowners of a quaint brick house in the suburbs of Melbourne :)

I was going to publish the photos, but decided it might be a bad idea. Not to say I don't trust any of you, but there are some weird people who trawl the net.

Anyways, we're busy unpacking and decorating... I'm trying my best to incorporate feng shui principles but it's so complicated and we don't have a lot of money so a renovation is definitely out of the question. I guess we'll take things in stride.

May you be blessed :)

2006-05-05T10:28:00.000+10:00

We Send You Our Blessings

click the above link to see this great movie.

Compatibility Test

2006-04-07T08:58:00.000+10:00

Mine and Jason's compatibility:

Big Five Compatibility Test

Extroversion		76%
		44%
Friendliness		68%
		46%
Orderliness		64%
		64%
Emotional Stability		42%
		56%
Openmindedness		48%
		38%

scale key - you them

Your overall similarity is 75%.
Your overall complementarity is 69%.

Take Free Big Five Compatibility Test

Oceans apart before leaping cultural barriers

2006-03-23T09:48:00.000+11:00

Just a nice, feel-good article from the Age (click on the title).

Notable Blasians

2006-03-02T09:39:00.000+11:00

From Wikipedia

Amerie, on her website it says, "Amerie's mother is from Korea and her dad is an African-American from North Philly". She is an R & B singer on Columbia Records. She is known for such songs as "Why Don't We Fall In Love" and "1 Thing".
Tai Babilonia, Olympic skater, African-American and Filipino.
Joe Bataan, Latin Soul legend, Filipino and Black descent.
Tyson Beckford, his father is Black (Jamaican) and his mother is Chinese/American (according to E! online). In 1991, an editor from the hip-hop magazine The Source found Beckford. This led to Beckford signing with a New York modeling agency, and to a life of cameras and runways. In 1993, Beckford was hired for Ralph Lauren's Polo Sport fragrance and clothing lines. Signed exclusively to Ralph Lauren, Beckford could also add the covers of Essence, Paper, Vogue, GQ, Details, Men's Health, Vibe, and The New York Times, to his long resume. In 1995 he was named VH1's "Model of the Year" and one of People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People in the World. He also appeared in numerous music videos, TV shows and commercials.
Foxy Brown, Foxy says in an interview with MTV, "I'm not Filipino and black ... My family is Trinidadian and Asian." Foxy's first album Ill Na Na went platinum, selling a total of 1.5 million units. Her second album Chyna Doll was the fastest album to go platinum for a female rap artist. She is the first female rap artist to have a #1 album and is Calvin Klein's first female African-American model.
Ella Bully-Cummings, Detroit's first female police chief. Her father was an African American serviceman raised in Detroit when he met her mother in Japan.
Dena Cali, according to her website she is Black, Swedish, and Chinese. This rapper from the West Coast recently completed her self titled debut album. She has also modeled and appeared in the movie Foolish with Master P and Eddie Griffin.
Naomi Campbell, her mother is Black (Jamaican), her father is Multiracial, at least partly Chinese (according to Arena Magazine her mother said "he was of mixed race and had a touch of Chinese in him") She began her career at 15, when a Ford modeling agency exec spotted her walking down a London Street. She spent two years on the Paris runway and hit the cover of French Vogue. She is one of the most well known models in the world.
Marcus Chong, actor, son of Tommy Chong.
Rae Dawn Chong, her father, Tommy Chong of Cheech and Chong fame, is Asian and White, her mother is Black. She has starred in movies such as The Color Purple, Commando, Soul Man, Beat Street and Quest For Fire.
Sugar Pie DeSanto, R&B and Jazz singer whose father is Filipino and mother is African-American.
Melissa Howard, her mother is Filipino and her father is Black (From MTV.com). Member of The Real World New Orleans cast.
Sheila Hudson, her father is Black and her mother is Korean. The American record-holder in the triple jump. For years she dominated the triple jump in the U.S. and was the only American to reach the final in the first Olympic triple jump competition for women in 1996.
Crystal Kay, half-Korean and half-black. She however doesn't speak Korean and is a singer in Japan.
Kelis, her mother is Chinese and Puerto Rican; her father is Black (from an interview with Creative Loafing). She left home at 16 to pursue her own goals, and four years later Kelis had a deal with Virgin. In mid-1999, Kelis was beatboxing alongside Ol' Dirty Bastard on his cut "Got Your Money" and her signature technicolor spiraled afro was sparking critics' interests. Her brooding vocals blend sensible R&B additives, and the hip-hop layers are funky. Kelis captured feminist desires on her debut Kaleidoscope.
Sachio Kinugase, baseball player.
Michael Lee-Chin, Canadian businessman.
Allen Pineda Lindo, Member of the award-winning rap group the Black Eyed Peas; he is of African Mestiso and Filipino descent.
Nicole Lyn, her mother is Black and her father is of Chinese descent (according to a Nicole Lyn Fan Site). Has appeared in movies such as "Feast of All Saints" (2001 mini TV Series), "Bless the Child" (2000), "Dying to Dance" (1999 TV) "Student Bodies" (1997 TV Series), "Eric's World" (1991 TV Series), "On Thin Ice: The Tai Babilonia Story" (1990 TV), "Ramona" (1988 TV Series) and "Ramona Q" (1988).
Debelah Morgan, her mother is Indian, her father is Black. Her debut album, "Debelah", was released in 1994. Four years later she released "It's Not Over". This time, released under the Motown label, the album was available in Europe and Asia. Debelah's comeback album, "Dance With Me", has been receiving raving reviews from major music magazines, including Billboard, Vibe and the online Wall Of Sound. has been increasingly popular across the US, and is reaching fans all over the world.
Chad Morton, his mother is Japanese, his father is Black. Brother of Johnnie Morton. Running back for the New Orleans Saints. Was All-Pac 10 Conference selection at USC before being selected by the New Orleans Saints in the 5th round, #166.
Johnnie Morton, his mother is Japanese, his father is Black. Brother of Chad Morton. Selected by Detroit Lions in first round (21st pick overall) of 1994 NFL draft. Veteran receiver who is one of Lions’ most consistent offensive performers and one of the league’s most efficient pass-catchers. Is now second on Lions’ all-time receiving yards list with 5,345 yards, and currently stands in fourth place (392) on the Lions’ all-time receptions list.
Sean Paul, from ArtistDirect.com: Born Sean Paul Henriques on January 8, 1973, the multi-ethnic Paul (his parents had Portuguese, Chinese, and Jamaican blood) grew up in St. Andrew, Jamaica. Dancehall DJ Sean Paul began scoring hit singles in Jamaica starting in 1996, and has since attracted American attention with his appearance on the soundtrack of Hype Williams' Belly (with Mr. Vegas and DMX) and his 1999 hit "Hot Gal Today." Paul released his first album on VP Records; the sprawling Stage One.
Tasha Reid, Korean rapper.
Kimora Lee Simmons, her father is Black her mother is Japanese. She became a force in the fashion world at the tender age of 13, when designer Karl Lagerfeld hand-picked her to represent the face of the fashion house of Chanel. She provided the partnership and inspiration for Baby Phat (hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons' women's counterpart to Phat Farm), overseeing the design of the line as Creative Director. She also hosts Russell Simmons' Oneworld Music Beat.
Tomika Skanes, model, "My father, who is now retired, was in the army and was stationed in Seoul, Korea where he met my mother. Soon after they married and had three kids. I am the middle child, the only girl. We all are mixed with Korean and Black... just in case you weren't sure."
Sonja Sohn, actress.
Michael Takahashi, baseball player.
Karin Taylor, she is part Jamaican, Brazilian and Chinese. She is primarily a model but has done some acting. Her first big gig was as a Playmate in June 1996. She has also been on Baywatch, E!'s Gossip Show, Malcolm in the Middle, The Weird Al Show, and more.
Hines Ward, his mother is Korean and his father is Black. He played quarterback, tailback and wide receiver at the University of Georgia. Selected in the third round of the 1998 NFL draft by the Steelers, Ward caught 15 passes for 246 yards this past season as a rookie, and became a standout player on special teams.
Peter Westbrook, his father is Black, his mother is Japanese. A six-time Olympian and 13-time U.S. national champion, Peter Westbrook is one of America's most decorated athletes. As a fencer, he toils in relative obscurity, yet his accomplishments in and out of the arena are legion. As a Black man in a white sport, he's become an Arthur Ashe with sword instead of racket, a pioneer with deep community roots. Started the Peter Westbrook Foundation to teach inner-city kids about fencing.
Tiger Woods, golfer.

2006-01-27T18:25:00.000+11:00

Jason's family after Xmas lunch (see my fat belly - his Mum cooked, it was sooo nice) 25/12/05.

A post from Interracial Forum I found

2006-01-12T21:25:00.000+11:00

WE've got the power!!! We've got the power!!!« Thread Started on Nov 15, 2005, 12:19am »
retrieved on 10 Nov 2005 08:32:30 GMT.

The Minority Interracial Couples

Reginald Lewis and Loida Nicolas walked down the aisle in the Philippines almost 30 years ago. Her niece, Lourdes Gardos, held her train. "The values of our family did not have us differentiate or classify people according to the color of their skin but only on the content of their character," recalled Loida Lewis. Dating someone of a different race who isn't white can be difficult.

Cindy, a Japanese American woman, was always considered a rebel of sorts within her family, but four years ago, when she began dating an African American man, she committed her biggest act of defiance. When the administrative assistant at a health care provider in Southern California told her parents, their reaction was far from approving. "You know if you have children and get divorced, it's not going to be easy to get re-married again," her mother warned, implying that no man would marry a woman with half-black children. From her father came more disapproval. "Our relatives aren't going to like that. There's going to be talk in the family," her father cautioned. Cindy, 29, was shocked and offended--after all, both her parents are from Hawaii, where many residents are of mixed race. What angered her most were the racist sentiments underlying their warnings.Like many Asian American parents, her parents would have preferred that she find an Asian man, or even a white one. But Cindy's decision to date an African American has forced her, like many others in her situation, to confront startling and intense levels of racism within their own families.In Asian American Intermarriage, due out next year through Beacon Press, co-authors Larry Hajime Shinagawa and Gin Yong Pang found that a substantial number of Asian Americans are in interracial or interethnic relationships. However, in only a small fraction of those relationships one partner is African American or Latino.Through interviews conducted with over 100 individuals in California and through 1990 US Census Bureau statistics, Shinagawa and Pang found that of the half of the Asian Americans in California that marry non-Asians, roughly a third of those individuals are in interracial marriages.Of the 120 interracial or interethnic individuals Pang interviewed for the work, half of the individuals were dating, while the other half were married. Of the 60 married couples, 30 individuals were married to whites, 15 were in interethnic (Asian/Asian) relationships, and 15 individuals were married to Latinos, African Americans, or mixed race individuals. The breakdown was relatively even for the 60 individuals who were in interracial dating relationships. Of the 60 couples Pang interviewed, 20 individuals were involved with whites, 20 individuals were in interethnic relationships, and 20 were involved with Hispanics, African Americans or mixed race individuals. Shinagawa and Pang found that certain marriages, specifically to African Americans and Latinos, often caused the greatest conflict between Asian Americans and their families. The source of that conflict, explained Pang, stems from numerous factors including racism, pressure from Asian American families to marry someone of the same ethnicity or race, and a belief that marrying into the white majority will lead to greater acceptance of the individual by society at large.Shinagawa said that all couples, even younger ones like Fabio Andina and Jannah Sims, who met at San Francisco State University and have been happily dating for two months, typically experience some form of resistance from family members."With African Americans and Latinos ... there is always opposition," from the family, said Shinagawa, a professor at Sonoma State University. In some cases, Asian American parents might think, "What do you gain by marrying another minority, especially when you're the higher minority?" Shinagawa said.Pang, a lecturer at San Francisco State University, asserts that the acceptance of an individual's significant other is inherently tied to a hierarchy of color, consciously or unconsciously observed."If there is a color hierarchy among the races, it seems to get darker at the bottom," Pang said. "Some people I have interviewed said, 'My parents don't want me to marry out but if I do, that person better be white ... rather than Hispanic or black.'

In cultures, Asian or white, there is the negative association with the color black. ... If it's dark it's not as attractive," Pang said, adding that some cultures draw a correlation between skin color and social status. "Traditionally in Asian cultures, the darker your skin is, the lower your class standing," Pang said, adding that Asian Americans with darker skin tones are subject to similar scrutiny. This correlation between skin color and social status, Pang argues, often means that African American partners must possess exceptional credentials--whether it be economically, professionally, or academically--to merely be acknowledged by some Asian American families. "If he's black, he'll have to have something exceptional to make up for being black," Pang said. In Cindy's case, her boyfriend's economic standing did little to sway her parents opinion. Although her boyfriend is a highly paid professional with a house near the beach, and a master's degree, he was not showered with the same attention and acceptance granted to her sister's white husband of similar economic standing and academic accomplishment. "My parents were very skeptical of my boyfriend, as opposed to my brother-in-law, who they accepted right off the bat," Cindy said. Pang and Shinagawa speculate that whites are more readily accepted by Asian Americans because they are perceived as having more power and a higher social status in American society. The assumption is that marrying a white individual leads to greater acceptance by American society. "A white person will be much better tolerated and accepted into the circle, because a white spouse symbolizes American society. There is the notion about whites being real Americans," Pang said. "That kind of respect is given to white spouses, but when it comes to blacks or Hispanics forget it-they're not real Americans. They're not given that equal footing or standing unfortunately because of that racism we've internalized."Much of the parental concern regarding interracial marriages to African Americans or Latinos, according to Pang, also stems from concern that their child and future grandchildren might experience racism as a result of the relationship. "Some parents have told their children that they're going to have a hard time and a hard life," said Pang. "And that's usually followed by the children, that they're going to suffer in some way. They usually point out that it's not that there's something wrong with black people, but society still has a lot of prejudice against them." Despite this fear, some couples say they haven't encountered widespread, blatant racism from society.Linda Forrest, a Chinese American, met her husband Thomas, an African American, at a singles bar in New Jersey while she was a teacher and he was a public utility employee. The couple has been married for 23 years and lives in Fairfax, Va. She views her marriage as unique. Her immigrant parents and her husband's Southern parents accepted the relationship, and society appeared to adjust as well. Although she did notice how she and her spouse attracted stares early on in their relationship, she says that as of late, they draw little attention. "There have been people in later years since we've been married where I could see the surprise in their face, but that doesn't happen too often. ... If we were in Kansas, I'm sure it would be very different," said Forrest. "I think whites see [us] as two minorities, so who cares. And blacks don't have much of a problem with me because I'm not white."The Forrests admit that the acceptance they received by both families was surprising. However, Linda Forrest says her family would have expressed grave disapproval had she married a Japanese American. "My parents would have objected more if I married a Japanese American than an African American," she said. "My mother lived through the war and suffered the atrocities of the Japanese." Thomas Forrest anticipated disapproval from Linda's parents, not so much because he is African American, but because he isn't of Asian descent. "I wasn't very optimistic," about her parent's reaction, he said. "I was a little bit skeptical." The Forrests were not the only interracial couple to gain such a warm reception from family and friends.

Author Janice Mirikitani and Rev. Cecil Williams of Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco have been married 16 years. When Loida and Reginald Lewis, who died in 1993, married 29 years ago, they found both their families to be equally enthusiastic. Loida Lewis, who assumed the reigns of TLC Beatrice International Holdings, Inc., as CEO and chairman after the her husband's death, attributes her family's immediate acceptance of the marriage to their adamant belief that individuals should not be judged by their skin color. "The values of our family did not have us differentiate or classify people according to the color of their skin but only on the content of their character. ... My mother had met Mr. Lewis in New York and [immediately] understood why her headstrong daughter fell in love with him. She understood and accepted," said Lewis.While some of her husband's friends and relatives were initially surprised that he was marrying a woman from the Philippines, their skepticism faded once they met her. As Lewis explains, no one doubted that their marriage was based on anything but love and mutual respect."I knew in my heart that I would not meet a man like him again, and I guess the same was true for him. So it was clear to anyone who knew us that we loved and chose each other for life," Lewis added. When Janice Mirikitani, a Bay Area author and poet, and the Rev. Cecil Williams of Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco were married 16 years ago, they experienced more of the typical family resistance many interracial couples encounter. "I think barriers go up [within a family and society] because of stereotypes and because of cultural ignorance and attitudes," Mirikitani said. "My parents weren't at first very accepting, and because my family is fairly traditional Japanese American, they had a hard time at first." Mirikitani's marriage to Williams was her second. She was married once before to a Caucasian man. As Mirikitani explains, her family's initial objection to both marriages was a result of her not marrying a Japanese American. Mirikitani's mother, like other Asian Americans who come to accept an interracial marriage, changed her opinion of the marriage once she came to know Williams. "My mother is a loving and sweet woman and she came to see that Cecil is that kind of person also. Now she says to me that you're so lucky to be married to such a good man," Mirikitani said.Although Mirikitani and Williams have not witnessed overt racism, they have experienced instances where people refuse to acknowledge their union. "It's very strange how people stereotype the marriage," Mirikitani said. "By white people I'll be asked if I'm the chauffeur, because it's inconceivable to them that I could be the wife. I've been asked if I'm the caterer, the maid, the florist." Yuko Hata, a young jazz musician, is in a six-year relationship that she and her African American boyfriend, Anthony Wonsley, believe will lead to marriage. Hata also witnessed stereotyping, but more so regarding the viability and seriousness of her relationship. "There always will be the initial stereotyping [of the relationship]," Hata said. "Look at me or him betraying each other's races ... it's 'Jungle Fever,' or it's an Asian fetish. ... Blacks were saying that this is nothing but curiosity, or if he wasn't as good in jazz I wouldn't go out with him, and since he is the first [African American I've dated] that can't be real." As a couple in their late 20s, Hata and her boyfriend have been forced to revisit and confront the larger issues of cultural identity within the context of their relationship. For Hata, a second generation Japanese American, the relationship has caused her to re-evaluate the Asian American identity she earnestly tried to deny while growing up in mostly white Boulder, Colo."In some ways, I guess my relationship did make me more political because I was just becoming more exposed firsthand to situations that I may not have come across," said Hata, who now lives in Boston. "It's definitely been the core of a lot of self-evaluation.""What's interesting is that growing up in an all white neighborhood, race wasn't an issue. ... But for African Americans, for them, race is an issue every day," Hata added. "I went through so many stages of trying to see what life is like through the eyes of someone who is African American ... what it's like to be a person of color." Meanwhile, Wonsley was confronting the pressures he faced as a black man dating someone outside of his race. "He really had to come to terms with himself, because there's a lot of pressure he was feeling from being a black man," said Hata. "He had to know for himself that he wasn't dissing his own kind." As they confront the sometimes painful assumptions and stereotypes placed on the relationship by society and family, many interracial couples focus on their commonality. Williams and Mirikitani, for instance, know they share a common bond--that of racial oppression."Both of us had histories of severe pain," Williams said. "My folks coming from slavery and her folks coming from the concentration camps. We understand what it is to be hurt and humiliated and rejected and to be told that you're no good or nobody." Mirikitani agreed and underscored the similarities of the Asian American and African American cultures. "That kind of oppression against our racial groupings helped us to identify a great deal more," Mirikitani said. "And there are all the various cultural things such as oral tradition, storytelling, the importance of family and extended family, and food."There are lots of connections."

Hello from Indonesia!!!

2006-01-12T20:04:00.000+11:00

I'm in Indonesia!!!

I know I seem to be travelling all over the place these days, and I'm really starting to get sick of packing and unpacking, but Indo is better than I thought. With all the media hype you'd think you wouldn't be able to walk down the street without being kidnapped or seeing a terrorist, but life is pretty normal down here (or up here, depending on your perspective). I mean, the people complain about exorbitant costs and many are still living in poverty, but most Indonesians are peace-loving people, especially in the town I was born in, Bandung. By the way, this is not bias, I was really dreading this trip; I'd just come back from China and missing Jase a lot, we'd just moved to a new house so things are a bit all over the place, plus I have no friends in Indo (I left when I was very young). I had to see my grandma and other relatives though, so I had to come here, bird flu or not. Luckily, even though my Indonesian is a bit rusty, I look Indonesian so there's no chance of me being kidnapped cos I'm a foreigner (unless they see my passport, I guess). But then again. it's probably DFAT being all paranoid (I suppose they have to be, it's their job).

My relatives were really open-minded about my relationship with Jason, surprisingly. My really old (and sometimes senile) grandmother even wanted to keep his picture, which was sweet. I heard of a friend of my sister's best friend marrying a black guy as well and they have a gorgeous kid, brown with squinty asian eyes (aww.... he he he). It really gave me a lot of hope for our future.

An incident

2005-12-27T12:11:00.000+11:00

I'm back from China!!!
I spent 3 weeks in Shanghai studying, then to Beijing for 4 days. I met some great new friends (photos coming up soon), learnt a lot about Chinese, China and Chinese culture and climbed the Great Wall (yay!).
But anyway, this is about what happened the day before Christmas Eve, just after I got back from China.

My family and I went to have dinner in an average Thai Restaurant in a very multi-cultural suburb with people who have lower than average socio-economic backgrounds. In other words, lots of migrants and refugees. My sister, brother-in-law, 5 year-old nephew were walking in front of Jason and myself carrying christmas presents. Some young punk (caucasian) must've felt threatened by the sight of blacks and asians getting along that he kept staring at us as he walked past. Jason stared back and he said, "whatcha lookin' at?" to which Jason replied, "Just keep walking, mate". After we crossed the road he started calling us names and taunting us. At first we ignored him, but then he called Jason the "n" word and both Jason and my bro-in-law (who is asian, by the way) turned around. The guy said that he would take both of them on. They chased him and the coward ran to a pub.

I can't believe this is still happening in Australia, I mean, the racial riots in Sydney was a big shock, but since I got back I felt that everyone was on alert even here in Melbourne. When Jase and my bro-in-law chased that guy others were looking on and getting ready to join the "punch-on". I couldn't believe my eyes.

But just to prove that not all white men are racists, there was a white guy who saw the whole thing and as Jason was walking back he patted him on the shoulder and said that it wasn't right what that guy said etc... so I still feel there's a bit of hope.

Unfortunately, though, I am questioning the Aussie values of a "fair go" and "tolerance". I mean, Jason and I are as Aussie as you get. If people consider us not Australian because of the colour of our skin then I don't know where else to go. China? It might be a communist government with a history of human rights abuses, but at least the people I met there were accepting of Jason and our relationship.

2005-11-08T10:46:00.000+11:00

Our friend, my fiancee and I @ QBH for John Digweed event

Expectations

2005-10-21T17:51:00.000+10:00

I've always thought that Australians are very open-minded. I mean, there are some who can be insensitive, but mostly it was because they don't understand that some things can hurt when said in certain contexts. I am particularly touched by the people I work for, they're all caucasians and mostly Euro-Australians but have accepted me with open arms (I'm the only non-white there).

I do wonder, however, why people still expect to see stereotypes and accept generalisations as the norm. At work, for example, throughout the years I have learnt to keep my opinions to myself and my mouth shut. I will never challenge what the bosses say not because of lack of initiative, but because everytime I try to suggest something different my opinions are always cast aside or dismissed. Instead of wasting energy and getting emotional after each disappointment I decided not to bother anymore. I've always respected the bosses anyway (comes from Asian culture of respecting elders I guess), so it wasn't hard to just go along with everything they say. Boss knows best. That's how it's been for the past 5 years.

So now comes along a caucasian girl they hired a few months ago to help with the extra workload and to replace me next year after I graduate and find a REAL job (Because they know I won't be staying). She's only a year younger but more immature and talkative even for her age. She's also been brought up in a very strict and sheltered life. Every time we try to explain to her how to do things she's always asking why this, why that, how come, why don't you do it this way etc etc...

For god's sake, some things just ARE!!! you don't need to know every little bit of information pertaining to a particular task, when setting up a spreadsheet you don't need to know who created the program and why did they create it that way and not some other way that she thinks is better even though she can't even perform simple functions let alone create a program! A lot of what I know took me 5 years to find out! I personally find it annoying. I mean, yes, it's great that she doesn't accept everything at face value and questions everything, it shows an interest, and eagerness to get things done right. But still, why is it that my boss can't get enough of her? She always talks back, argues with everyone, is stubborn and rejects other people's beliefs as invalid just because she thinks her belief is the only 'correct' belief. My boss says she shows 'initiative' and has 'fresh eyes', and asks me to question things sometime. The truth is, everytime I do that they react negatively to me and everytime she does it they react positively to her (like, aww, she's all fired up, that's so cute!).

I can't help but think it's a race thing, as much as I don't want to believe it, Jason (my fiancee) thinks I'm naive not to see it earlier. Is it because I'm an Asian girl that people expect me to be quiet and opinion-less? Why is it that when I challenge something I'm told I'm being difficult and when she challenges the same thing she gets their attention? They would probably deny it if they read this (which they won't, not while I still work there anyway), but this is how I feel and how things are from my point of view. I wouldn't say it's racial discrimination because it's not extremely blatant, but maybe it's misrepresented racial expectation.

Interracial Unity

2005-10-21T10:15:00.000+10:00

New Link!!!

Looks like an excellent forum.

My Fiance and I

2005-10-17T10:16:00.000+10:00

My fiancee and I met about 3 and a half years ago, he was working at a call centre and I called one day, we became friends and started a serious relationship almost 2 years ago. On 21st January 2005 he proposed on a horse-drawn carriage after dinner at Crown.

The photo above was taken a couple of years ago at a club.

He was born in Trinidad, came to Australia when he was 14; I was born in Indonesia, my parents are Chinese, I left when I was 8 to study in Singapore for 3 years before moving to Melbourne permanently with my Mum.

Both of us are Australian, we've been here many years and even have Aussie accents, we follow AFL (He barracks for Collingwood, I go for Melbourne) and Cricket. Most of our friends and co-workers are Caucasian and we're very appreciative of their support.

At the same time, we recognise that we were born coloured, and with it comes a cultural heritage. Surprisingly, we share a lot of common values. Hence, although Blasian couples like us are rare, people shouldn't be surprised that these things happen.