Friday, October 21, 2005

Expectations

I've always thought that Australians are very open-minded. I mean, there are some who can be insensitive, but mostly it was because they don't understand that some things can hurt when said in certain contexts. I am particularly touched by the people I work for, they're all caucasians and mostly Euro-Australians but have accepted me with open arms (I'm the only non-white there).

I do wonder, however, why people still expect to see stereotypes and accept generalisations as the norm. At work, for example, throughout the years I have learnt to keep my opinions to myself and my mouth shut. I will never challenge what the bosses say not because of lack of initiative, but because everytime I try to suggest something different my opinions are always cast aside or dismissed. Instead of wasting energy and getting emotional after each disappointment I decided not to bother anymore. I've always respected the bosses anyway (comes from Asian culture of respecting elders I guess), so it wasn't hard to just go along with everything they say. Boss knows best. That's how it's been for the past 5 years.

So now comes along a caucasian girl they hired a few months ago to help with the extra workload and to replace me next year after I graduate and find a REAL job (Because they know I won't be staying). She's only a year younger but more immature and talkative even for her age. She's also been brought up in a very strict and sheltered life. Every time we try to explain to her how to do things she's always asking why this, why that, how come, why don't you do it this way etc etc...

For god's sake, some things just ARE!!! you don't need to know every little bit of information pertaining to a particular task, when setting up a spreadsheet you don't need to know who created the program and why did they create it that way and not some other way that she thinks is better even though she can't even perform simple functions let alone create a program! A lot of what I know took me 5 years to find out! I personally find it annoying. I mean, yes, it's great that she doesn't accept everything at face value and questions everything, it shows an interest, and eagerness to get things done right. But still, why is it that my boss can't get enough of her? She always talks back, argues with everyone, is stubborn and rejects other people's beliefs as invalid just because she thinks her belief is the only 'correct' belief. My boss says she shows 'initiative' and has 'fresh eyes', and asks me to question things sometime. The truth is, everytime I do that they react negatively to me and everytime she does it they react positively to her (like, aww, she's all fired up, that's so cute!).

I can't help but think it's a race thing, as much as I don't want to believe it, Jason (my fiancee) thinks I'm naive not to see it earlier. Is it because I'm an Asian girl that people expect me to be quiet and opinion-less? Why is it that when I challenge something I'm told I'm being difficult and when she challenges the same thing she gets their attention? They would probably deny it if they read this (which they won't, not while I still work there anyway), but this is how I feel and how things are from my point of view. I wouldn't say it's racial discrimination because it's not extremely blatant, but maybe it's misrepresented racial expectation.

Interracial Unity

New Link!!!

Looks like an excellent forum.

Monday, October 17, 2005

My Fiance and I


My fiancee and I met about 3 and a half years ago, he was working at a call centre and I called one day, we became friends and started a serious relationship almost 2 years ago. On 21st January 2005 he proposed on a horse-drawn carriage after dinner at Crown.

The photo above was taken a couple of years ago at a club.

He was born in Trinidad, came to Australia when he was 14; I was born in Indonesia, my parents are Chinese, I left when I was 8 to study in Singapore for 3 years before moving to Melbourne permanently with my Mum.

Both of us are Australian, we've been here many years and even have Aussie accents, we follow AFL (He barracks for Collingwood, I go for Melbourne) and Cricket. Most of our friends and co-workers are Caucasian and we're very appreciative of their support.

At the same time, we recognise that we were born coloured, and with it comes a cultural heritage. Surprisingly, we share a lot of common values. Hence, although Blasian couples like us are rare, people shouldn't be surprised that these things happen.